Oftentimes, dating can be a balancing act. You want to find a partner who checks all your boxes — but if you reject everyone who isn’t perfect on paper, you might never find the one.

So lamented a user on Reddit who was tired of hearing their friend complain about his love life. “My friend who looks like a greek god has the saddest sex/romantic life I’ve ever seen,” they wrote in their post. After six years of friendship, their friend is still “desperately single” despite his good looks.

“He is too f*cking picky,” they continued. “No one is good enough for him and [he] always [complains] to me about how lonely he is. […] He is the problem here and I’m so tired of it.”

Commenters were quick to sound off on how picky you should be about a partner. Several folks wrote that waiting idly by for Mr. Right means you’ll never find him at all.

“Our culture unfortunately created this myth that when the right person comes along you’ll know it and everything will work beautifully, and don’t settle’ for anything less than you deserve, etc.,” reads the most upvoted comment. “Relationships take active work. It shouldn’t be a chore but they also don’t just generally happen miraculously without both people doing a bit of give and take and compromising on things.”

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Another commenter agreed, adding that people tend to expect too much of their potential partners. “Our culture also promotes the expectation that our partner must satisfy every role for us, i.e., be gorgeously stunning as well as our perfect sexual partner, best friend, therapist, workout buddy, life coach, chef, housecleaner, into all the same hobbies and TV shows and books, etc etc.,” they wrote. “In reality, it’s basically impossible to find one person that perfectly fills all these roles. That’s what close friends, family, and professionals (re: therapy/life coaching) are for. If you refuse to date anyone who isn’t prince charming, then you’ll probably be forever alone.”

But others pointed out that lowering your standards too far isn’t the answer either. Even guys who you deem “not good enough” have the potential to break your heart, they said.

“I let down my standards just for those same guys to treat me like sh*t,” wrote one commenter. “I’ll go out with a guy who is ok but I don’t really like him that much, then he’ll say cute things and flirt and I’ll fall for him hard. Then he’ll disrespect me/ghost.”

“Same. I hook up with guys I’m not even that interested because hey, lower [your] expectations, compromise a bit, maybe you’ll luck out,” echoed another commenter. “Then the guy ends up treating me like sh*t. So f*cking infuriating.”

“He shouldn’t settle,” advised a third. “Nothing worse than settling and the person cheats and [you] fall out of love and now you’re disgusted [you] had sex with them. I rather stay single.”

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Like most issues when it comes to dating, there’s no easy answer — but a happy medium is almost always the best course of action.

“I honestly don’t think anyone should settle to a full degree,” commented one user. “However I also don’t think everyone should be waiting for their dream guy to magically show up because let’s be real they probably never will. Real life isn’t what most people see on movies. Finding someone who maybe fits in the middle of those 2 things is the best.”

But before you find that perfect (or not-so-perfect) partner? Maybe it’s best to keep your ultra-selective woes to yourself, wrote some users.

“I’m honestly completely fine if someone is very picky, 0 issues with it,” admitted one commenter. “But the instant moment you start complaining to me about how you can’t find anyone or that [you’re] super lonely or that no one is good enough for you? […] I will call you out on it.”

“If you are extremely picky you honestly don’t get the right to complain how [you’re] lonely and how you cant find anyone,” they concluded. “That’s all I gotta say.”

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