If you weren’t too distracted by the many resurfaced photos of JD Vance in drag, you might have noticed a tweet about Donald Trump’s penchant for aggressive shoulder pads gaining ground yesterday.

True to form, it’s a pretty embarrassing look. Move over Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce, we’ve got a new shoulder pad queen in town!

But seriously folks, why does Trump tend to go for huge padded shoulders? Could there be a method to his madness?

According to Die, Workwear blogger and fashion columnist Derek Guy, the answer is yes. Sort of?

According to Guy, there’s a simple explanation for this sometimes-confounding fashion choice.

“As I’ve mentioned many times,” he writes, “the platonic male silhouette in classic Western aesthetic is a shoulder line that’s broader than the waist, which creates a V-shaped figure. Since Trump doesn’t naturally have this silhouette, his suits have an extended shoulder.”

Ok, seems obvious enough. But why are they so huge and SO padded?

Well, a few reasons. First off, you can only really build out the shoulder so far before the laws of gravity kick in. While a heavily-padded shoulder can prevent sagging over time, it can also look crazy, as we see in the recent photo of Trump looking like he’s stuffed his suit with Always maxi pads with wings.

Artificial is putting it mildly. It looks like he’s stuffed a small child in there. Not to mention: wouldn’t that level of padding be crazy hot all the time?

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Whatever: clearly Trump has committed to this look, for reasons that none of us will ever completely understand. He’s right up there with David Byrne, Margaret Thatcher, and the good b*tches of Dynasty in his love for pad action.

But there’s something else queer people are being reminded of with this fashion choice…

Brb, suing Trump for lethal levels of tboy swag approrpriation.

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