You know about the transvestigators, right? The least-occupied people on Earth? The people who never seem to log out of Twitter/X or its elephant graveyard cousin Facebook/Meta and instead stay up until the wee small hours trying to “find out” what someone’s gender is? The people that Mia Moore used to troll by posting images of famous cis women?

Exactly, those people. Well, they can’t and won’t be stopped, basically, and in their dazed, brain-addled state, they’ve officially crossed over. The transvestigators have come to the conclusion that famous trans woman Dylan Mulvaney is…a cis woman?

So how did this happen? I don’t know, but if I had to venture a guess I’d say too much coffee, not enough food, not enough sleep, and maybe a little bit of mold lurking on the walls.

This is what happens, basically, when you have too much time on your hands. You end up becoming a transvestigator when you could have used your skills to investigate something interesting, like any of the cases on Columbo. Rather than being a complete weirdo who sits around all day trying to guess someone’s assigned gender at birth.

Let’s just take a look at some of the wild statements being committed to text here:

How transphobic do you have to be to go all the way to the other end of the spectrum (claiming a trans woman is cis because of her eye energy?)

We live in strange times.

And they’re just getting stranger.

But in case any of you were confused, trans people are staying cool, calm, and unbothered no matter what might be going on on Facebook dot com.