Trans folks are asking: What do you do if you waited ‘too long’ to transition?

Trans folks can begin their physical transition at any age, but doing so later in life can come with added stigma. Does that mean there’s such a thing as being “too old” to transition?

That’s the question that drove a 29-year-old trans woman to Reddit, where she turned to other trans folks for advice. “My egg cracked when I was 20 and I’ve spent the last 9 years fighting it,” she wrote in her post’s title. “I don’t want to be trans. What are my options?

“I figured it out when I was 20 but a bad therapist convinced me not to pursue it,” she explained. “Now it’s too late. I’m too muscular, masculine, ugly and balding to ever pass as a woman and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being harassed and treated like a freak. But the older I get and more masculine I become, the worse it gets. So what do I do? What are my options?”

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That poster’s questions were met with one resounding sentiment: it’s never too late to start transitioning, no matter your age or what you look like.

“I know several trans women who transitioned in their 30s and 40s, and all of them seem quite happy with their decisions,” shared one commenter.

“I transitioned at 30 and all I can say is that the worst time to transition is ‘later,’” urged another trans person.

The most upvoted comment on the post also shared a link to an inspirational YouTube video from 10 years ago, where a 30-year-old trans woman shared the story of her transition, including the transformative effects of HRT over a 12-month period.

But are the original poster’s fears about not passing valid? Yes and no, said commenters: “I didn’t start HRT until I was 27 and I still manage to pass,” shared one trans woman. “It can’t fix the balding but there’s [Rogaine] and wigs for that. I get what you’re feeling and it’s not an easy path to walk down but what I’m saying is that it isn’t hopeless.”

“It’s not too late,” agreed another commenter. “I was 29 when I started HRT. I’m 31 now and literally the other day someone was about to not sell me a tobacco product because they didn’t believe the ID I gave them was mine.”

“Imo, fighting it is only going to lead to misery as you are probably well aware,” they continued. “No one treats me like a freak, I don’t get harassed. You may not have as good of an experience as I have had but the alternative is worse.”

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“The Venn diagram of chasers and transphobes is like almost a perfect circle at this point,” one Redditor commented.

And as far as physical insecurities are concerned, those aren’t unique to trans folks, pointed out another commenter.

“Sister, it is never ever too late. Not until you die,” she wrote. “I started at 37 and I’m loving living my best life. There is still time. Lots of women don’t love their hair or their body type or their X Y or Z. That’s part of being a girl, cis or trans. You can do this.”

“I know it’s not gonna be easy but do you really care what those *ssholes think?” she concluded. “Are you going to give up on wearing a pretty dress and feeling cute as f*ck just because some person you don’t know thinks you’re weird? F*ck those people, be happy, live your best life, and always be true to who you are.” Amen!