Remember when we all learned about Ron DeSantis’s penchant for eating pudding with his fingers? Well strap in, because we’re staring down the barrel of something even more disgusting with Trump’s newly-minted VP, Hillbilly Elegy author JD Vance.

So apart from being the author of a book that your well-meaning boomer parents probably told you to read when it came out, what exactly is Vance known for? The resounding flop that totaled Amy Adams’ career, for one thing. But what else?

Brace yourselves, because here it comes.

Now on the one hand—could this be seen as a relatable anecdote in a certain light? Sure! People get horny sometimes! But Republicans need to ask themselves some hard questions right about now: do we really want a glove-f*cker for Vice President? If Trump should get shot again and it should actually, you know, WORK, do we really want a glove-f*cker in charge of this great nation?

The jury is out.

“Are we kink-shaming at Pride?” One commenter wrote.

“He didn’t go in raw on the cushions??” Someone else said. “he’s not a freak like me. pass.”

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Now I know what you’re thinking? Where are these pages. Show me the pages. I want to see evidence of Vance’s glove-f*cking past. And I am sorry to report that having perused multiple versions of Hillbilly Elegy online, I am seeing no evidence of said glove-f*cking, and believe me, I’ve looked. My eyes have scanned so many Mamaws and Papaws at this point that I’m growing a snaggletooth. But no dice.

Which is kind of fine, because we all had a great time with this anyway. The country is going to the dogs, and all we can really do at this point is laugh at silly memes and wish they were true, because what else do you expect us to do?

We’re tired! So very tired.

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