These days, Marlon Wayans is an outspoken advocate for his transgender child, but it took a long road to get to that destination. In a new interview, Wayans opened up about his initial struggle to accept his son Kai and how he got a hard lesson on what unconditional love truly means.

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During an appearance on the From the Blocks podcast, the comedian discussed what he refers to as a transition of his own. “I learned that acceptance is everything,” he began.

But Wayans ultimately learned to let go and accept after first attempting to control the situation. “This is why you’re depressed,” the actor went on, reflecting on his realization at the time. “This is why you have anxiety, because you’re trying to control and steer the ship when it’s not in your control.”

Specifically, Wayans tried a form of conversion therapy. “I tried to hypnotize that bih,” he said. “I was like, ‘No, wait, hold on, wait—’ And I protested against it.

“And I don’t say that with pride. I look back on those actions and I’m ashamed. I was embarrassed the moment I was forced to look in the mirror.”

“I will say that I got to a beautiful place called acceptance,” he added, “and I pray for a lot of parents, family members, and people in general. It’s not on us to judge anybody. Like, hey man, live yo life.”

In addition to attempted hypnosis, Wayans tried to “impose sanctions” on Kai, like withholding allowance or threatening to pull them from school. “[Kai] was like, ‘So what? Fuck it, I’ll starve,’” Wayans said. “Nothing was working. This is what they wanted to do. I always said I want my kids to be happy. In order to be happy, you’re not gonna please everybody.”

In the end, Wayans understood that Kai’s happiness was his primary concern. “This is their life and they should be happy if they do this and if they want to change back or whatever they want to do—it’s not on me to punch down on my child,” he said. “It’s on me to love my child. Period. That’s all, all I can do is love my child and that’s what I do.”

Last year, Wayans first opened up about having a transgender child, and he’s been nothing but a fierce advocate ever since. This past June, he dedicated a Pride post to Kai and engaged in some epic trolling against the transphobic commentators. Now his relationship with Kai will be one of the main subjects of his forthcoming standup special.

“I’m a father first, I’m a comedian second, and those two clash,” Wayans said. “I told my child, ‘I’ma have my jokes … and they know my heart, and they trust that I’ma tell a great story and I can’t wait for people to see it.”

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