No one—absolutely no one—asked for Vincent Gallo’s transphobic “merch”

The world of celebrity merch is a strange, wild, weedy place, and ever since the OnlyFans/Cameo boom of 2020, it’s only gotten stranger. Case in point: Buffalo 66 actor Vincent Gallo, whose recent foray into the world of merch has folks running to the toilet to dry heave.

How do I know this? Because of a TikTok, naturally. One incredibly brave soul took a trip to the point of no return (Gallo’s website) to figure out what exactly the actor was selling. He boy did he learn.

Apparently under the ‘merchandise’ section of Gallo’s site, die-hard fans can purchase a sensual day with the actor starting at the rate of $50,000 per day—expenses not included, of course.

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But there’s a transphobic twist! Gallo won’t accept just anyone for this dream date: he’ll only be accepting, in his incredibly transphobic terms, cis women.

“I, Vincent Gallo,” the website reads, “star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female.”

And there it is—”naturally born female.” A vague definition if ever there was one, and a phrase transphobes love to throw around.

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But it gets worse. If you go down further into the hellscape that is this merch page, you’ll find Gallo’s sperm for sale to the tune of 1 million dollars. But again, he’s got some stipulations—extremely racist and anti-Semitic ones that I shan’t be repeating here. Basically, Gallo is up for sale, ladies: but only if you’re a cisgender Aryan woman. I can just hear the sound of wealthy trans hearts breaking all over the world.

Clearly there’s something amiss here, and it’s the same problem we’ve been having with almost every washed-up actor from Rob Schneider, who’s been leaning into his transphobia in recent work, to Richard Dreyfuss, who decided to jump on the anti-trans train at a recent Jaws screening.

Gallo’s career has not been looking good for some time, and earlier this year the actor became the subject of a SAG-AFTRA investigation after several women alleged that Gallo spoke to them inappropriately during the casting of Gallo’s upcoming film The Policeman. So sure—I guess being transphobic on main is the classic next move.

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