Halloween is nearly upon us, providing some much-needed relief from an election cycle that’s shredding our nerves to ribbons. But with Halloween comes other questions and concerns. Namely: how many bad The Substance costumes are we about to see? What new, horrifying forms of cultural appropriation will show up in celebrity Instagram stories? And most importantly: how many gays will take this opportunity to choose the most frustratingly, hilariously niche costume possible?

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That’s what the good gays of Twitter/X are wondering in a time-honored genre of tweets that starts with “I hate gay halloween.”

If there’s one thing about gay people, it’s that we will take the silliest viral moment of the past few years and turn it into a costume.

The niche-er, the better.

What do you mean you’re the toxic gay man who went viral a week ago?? What do you mean you’re Art and Patrick’s bisexual longing?

It’s moments like these that make Twitter almost bearable again.

What do you mean you’re going as a meme only the most online people will understand!

What do you mean you’re a niche confession of one of the most celebrated avant-garde filmmakers of all time???

The madness must stop! Or must it…

Cleanup on aisle Liev is my costume and you can’t talk me out of it!

How many gay costumes are visualizations of random things we’ve read about celebrities in interview segments? I’d wager a stiff 90 percent!

But there are always the perennial favorites…

What do you mean you’re the wickedly talented Adele Dazeem?

The hits just keep on coming.

But listen, can you blame us gays for pouring our vast stores of creativity into Halloween this year? After this election cycle, we need all the silly distraction we can get. So yes, we will be going as Cary Dubek’s Gay Glob, thank you very much!

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