The gays are asking: What fantasies are hot in theory, but not in practice?

Everyone has their dream scenarios in the bedroom — but sometimes, those wild ideas are best left unexplored. That’s what the gays are discussing on a Reddit thread all about fantasies that didn’t pan out, from lewd locations to awkward illicit acts.

Several folks mentioned that where a partner finishes can make a big difference. For example, getting bodily fluids on your face might sound hot, but it may have unintended side effects. “Getting c*m in the eyes is the worst,” lamented one commenter.

“Getting c*m shot up your nose is just as bad,” argued another.

“Eyes are the worst, but getting dried c*m out of your beard is a close second,” added a third. Clearly, anything face-related is a recipe for discomfort.

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Other folks sounded off on taking action out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Getting busy in the shower isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, they said: “Dangerous, slippery, someone always is cold, and c*m turns to glue in hot water,” wrote one commenter.

“Unless you’ve got like a super fancy huge shower, it’s just disappointing,” agreed another. “You’re wet in a way that’s much less sexy than you imagined.

Specific sex acts like rimming are especially problematic in the shower, as one user reported. “It’s basically waterboarding yourself,” they said.

Speaking of alternative locations, the beach may be a popular cruising spot, but it isn’t hot for everyone.

“I go to a local gay nude beach and it’s super cruisey,” one user explained. “I just cannot get past the idea of sand in my *sshole. Even one grain is too much and it’s not worth it to see if it turns into a pearl.” (They added that the flavor of sunscreen all over a body doesn’t make things any more appetizing.)

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Meanwhile, having fun in a car all depends on both the size of the vehicle, and the size of the people inside it. “It’s always so cramped and awkward and just never works out how you envision it,” reported one user.

“I’m just too tall,” agreed another.

“I’m 6’4″ and this dude tried to jump on top of me in a Kia Soul,” recalled a third. “Absolutely not.”

And speaking of logistical difficulties, sex gets more and more complicated the more bodies are involved. “Anything beyond 3 people becomes unwieldy,” as one user put it.

 “A foursome. Too many people to disappoint,” agreed another.

Of course, these examples all vary from person to person. Feel free to seek out your fantasy and try it for yourself — but know that reality loves to get in the way.

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