The gays are asking: What secrets do you keep from straight people?

If there’s one thing gays love more than keeping secrets, it’s telling them. 

In the comments of a Reddit post titled, “What’s a secret all gay men keep that straight people don’t know?”, gay guys sounded off on the aspects of queer life that straight folks just don’t get, whether it’s because they’ve never asked or because they’d never be told.

Naturally, plenty of people turned to comedy to answer the question. 

“That you can actually walk much faster than you currently do,” one person wrote.

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“The Gay Agenda™ shopping discounts,” wrote another — if only! The gay dollar only goes so far.

Another dropped a hint for anyone questioning their significant other’s faithfulness: “Grindr isn’t a ‘game’ that their husbands play on their phones.”

And one person warned everyone to be careful with what they divulge. “Don’t write it online. Straight people can read you know,” they pointed out.

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Others took the question more seriously, like one commenter who knows their weekend escapades could give their straight coworkers heart attacks.

“Our weekends,” they wrote. “We go to work on Mondays and when all the heteros talk about what they did on the weekend, we just say ‘it was good’ because we know they wouldn’t understand or get it.”

“We automatically code switch sometimes,” offered another commenter, “even with straight people we trust and know very well.”

The most common secret gay guys chose to share, though, was about the way they see the world — specifically, that growing up queer forces you to grow a thick skin in a way that cis and straight folks are far less likely to understand.

“We enjoy the irony of life. In everyday situations and life in general,” wrote one commenter. “When you grow up having to navigate the world with two minds, you can at least (hopefully) bask in the absurdity of it all. It also helps numb the pain.”

“It’s like my mind has an armor. When I see straights getting offended at every second thing, I wonder how they are so sensitive?” replied another. “Some people call our community snowflakes, but we are the thickest skinned motherf*ckers out here.”

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“Growing up differently and gay oftentimes made us feel alienated, lonely, and the black sheep of our families,” a third commenter began. “To figure out who we really were and to learn to navigate the world in a healthy way we were forced to do a form of work that not many straight people are confronted with.”

“The stuff that bothers straight men I know seriously makes me laugh. You can tell they’ve had to never do the work to search deep within themselves to find meaning and to move past unacceptance,” that commenter continued. “I seriously look at being gay as a gift now. I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world because I’m proud and grateful to be who I am. I’ve honestly become the systemic change in my family because I’ve never had to follow the cookie cutter mold and I’m not afraid to speak up and voice important opinions.”

Even with all those confessions, though, there’s plenty of hidden nuances to being gay that folks are still keeping on the down-low. What queer secrets do you still keep?

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