2024 has certainly been one for the books, and it’s not over yet. It’s not enough that we have to deal with a bonkers election and the just-as-bonkers news cycle around it: now we have to contend with Disney knowing what Locktober is.

Wait…what?

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You heard me! In a recent Twitter/X post from Marvel, the Disney-owned brand referred to the month of October as “Joe Locke-tober.” And eyebrows across the gay globe were raised.

We saw what you did there, Disney, but we also have questions, comments, and concerns.

For those living under a rock, Locktober is the month of locking up your c*ck, a kinky practice referred to by some as “the kinky version of Lent.” The idea is that you force yourself to abstain from any kind of sexual gratification for the entire month, which presumably makes November a much hotter experience.

But Marvel/Disney simply has no business knowing that!

No one could have seen it coming…but let’s not forget this is the year of brands showing full a** on main, so I guess maybe we could have seen it coming.

Is it delightful, or a sign that we need to start gatekeeping gay culture?

We knew Agatha All Along was a gay show—but we didn’t know it was this gay!

What’s next, Disney-branded pup hoods?

We’ve reached peak horny, and it’s not even November.

It’s going to be a long road to 2025, I can tell you that much.

One good thing to come out of this? The comments. Because if there’s one thing we know about the gays, it’s that we will speculate.

To the young, brave gay who did this…we salute you. Thank you for your service, and may the odds be every in your favor!

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