It’s unfortunately all-too-common for trans people’s families or loved ones not to accept their transitions, but some people take it one step further, offering bribes in exchange for not transitioning. In a Reddit post titled “What’s the largest bribe you have been offered to ‘not be trans?’,” trans folks sounded off on the largest, smallest, and stupidest offers they’d gotten in attempts to shut down their transitions.
The original poster offered to go first, sharing a story of how they’d sold their motorcycle to afford their upcoming gender-reassignment surgery.
“After this, my mom, who had opposed my transition at every step, offered to take me to a dealership for a brand-new ride, (edit: if I would cancel the surgery and de-transition in exchange). Obviously this stupid gambit instantly failed, as I’d already come to the opposite conclusion about the value of the two things ahead of time, and gone through the whole dreary exercise of selling it,” they shared. “To this day I keep this memory tucked away as a reminder of just how stupid someone can become when they are desperate and feel backed into a corner.”
With that, they opened the floor to other trans folks, asking, “What’s the most ridiculously-extravagant or laughably-inadequate bribe you’ve been offered to turn back?”
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Some trans people reported getting insanely high monetary offers from their families. “One of my parents offered 200k to not transition,” one commenter shared. “I thought about it for maybe 1 second and said no. Zero point in taking that money in exchange for living the rest of my life miserably.”
Another commenter reported waiting six years to transition because otherwise their grandparents would withhold their inheritance.
“I got the money,” they continued. “It’ll pay for surgeries and maybe a downpayment on a house in the near future, but it’s not worth it. Everyday I wish I’d just jumped in at 18 after being denied ever since I was 12. I’d be practically done transitioning by now instead of sitting at this 2.5 year still in-between stage.”
Other folks reported bribes that were either ludicrously low or simply nonsensical. “My egg donor offered me $10 in lottery tickets if I canceled my first HRT appointment,” one person recalled — because a one-in-a-million chance at a quick buck is totally worth denying your identity, right?
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“I tell them that they can find out if they fund an OnlyFans for me.”
Several others reported being bribed with markers of the gender they were transitioning away from, as though their relatives thought a plethora of girly things would convince them they weren’t men.
“My mom offered to buy me a bunch of women’s clothing if I stopped wearing men’s,” wrote one commenter. “It didn’t make any sense then and it doesn’t make any sense now.”
Another said their grandma “really thought she could convince me to detransition, and her best of many bribes was offering to pay for breast ENLARGEMENT surgery because she decided I was just jealous that my sister had bigger t*ts than me.”
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“They expect transgender people to be ugly, and we are not,” musician and influencer Sasha Allen said on TikTok.
“The more masculine I presented, the more feminine my gifts became. Pre egg-cracking even, when I was ‘just a tomboy,’” shared a third. “Like a pink glittery birthday card or a swarovski necklace is gonna suddenly convince me to be a woman?”
And some weren’t offered material gifts, but so-called “acts of service.”
“An ex-friend offered to sleep with me if I stopped being trans,” one commenter shared. “I’m asexual.”
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