What exactly is “gay voice?”

Gay voice: we’ve all heard it, and we’ve probably all been accused of having it. But what is it, really? Is it a true linguistic phenomenon? Is it a genetic trait that gets bestowed upon us when we’re born as gay babies?

Well, not exactly. “Gay voice is mostly understood as a style of speaking shared by a lot of gay men,” explained TikToker Reuben Woodall in response to a video that claims “gay voice” is somehow unprofessional.

@reubenwoodall

Breaking News: you have gay voice because you’re a gay man @CantCancelRobSmith #gay #lgbt #lgbtq

♬ original sound – reuben

Gay voice, as Woodall explains, includes “lots of pitch modulation, vocal fry, up talk, and even lisps.”

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But there are some interesting linguistic theories surrounding the gay voice phenomenon. As Woodall explains, most linguists believe that gay voice is a product of “nurture rather than nature.” For instance, since queer boys might tend to spend more time with girls and women as children, they might pick up on certain speech habits and patterns.

But as we grow older and find a queer community, “that gay community will build upon each others’ speech patterns as a symbol of solidarity.”

I mean, that’s pretty cool!

“Gay men can signal solidarity to each other,” Woodall continues, “by adopting a ‘safer’ tone of voice, the more feminine style of speaking associated with our female allies.”

Not only that, but “gay voice” can help queer folks signal that we’re not allied with toxic masculinity. Though of course, you can absolutely have gay voice and still be toxic, just so we’re quite clear.

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“I she/her everyone,” Woodall explains, “because I associate the feminine with solidarity and friendship.”

Makes sense! Woodall also notes that the habit of applying feminine pronouns to everything (and calling inanimate objects gay icons) has a lot to do with Polari (also known as Palare) a language used by gay men in the UK to have conversations with each other—and recognize each other—in public without being outed.

Which is pretty cool! But because of the world we live in, some gay men feel ashamed of having “gay voice,” especially if they’re newly-out and not comfortable with their queer identity yet. That’s how Woodall felt, and that’s why he’s speaking up about it.

“I think this ridicule or discomfort around gay voice,” he says, “betrays a discomfort in being gay itself.”

And there you have it. There’s a reason why every Disney villain has “gay voice,” as Woodall mentions. It’s to signal that they’re not to be trusted.

So it makes sense to have conflicted feelings about having gay voice. What doesn’t make sense is when people call it unprofessional, cringe, or odd. “I’m not responsible for a homophobic opinion on the sound of my voice,” Woodall says.

That’s really the last word on the subject. People judging you for having a certain way of speaking is rude, and it’s 100% on the person doing that judging.

Anybody who insults your gay voice,” Woodall says, “just isn’t comfortable with their own voice.”

Period.