A gay man has prompted over a thousand replies after taking to Reddit for advice. Posting in the AskGayBros subreddit, he explained, “So me and my bf moved recently and while talking about updating our voter registration, he said ‘I’m not voting blue,’ and basically confirmed he’d be voting for Trump when I asked what he meant. Basically, he said he thinks Harris is ‘dumb,’ and when I asked if he’s seen any videos of Trump lately he said they’re both dumb and that he didn’t want to continue the conversation.

“I don’t know how to process this and I’d appreciate advice on what to do or how to convince him not to vote red. Ironically, he doesn’t care about gay marriage and claims Trump wouldn’t touch gay marriage because apparently his affiliation with the Republican Party doesn’t influence what he does as president. He’s really a very smart guy but has had a conservative upbringing and definitely has some internalized bigoted beliefs. But truly 99% of the time he’s a really good person and someone I want to be with.”

The most well-liked response suggested the OP concentrate discussion on policies rather than personalities. And if that doesn’t work, agree not to talk about politics.

“Instead of talking about candidates, sit down and make a list of 3-5 policy areas that he is interested in, and you can do the same.”

After researching where each candidate stands on policies important to them, “write down a few brief notes for each area. Then review and compare.

“This does a few good things. 1. You get away from my person vs your person mentality. 2. Helps each of you see where your priorities lay in terms of policy importance and compatibility. 3. Leads to a meaningful conversation about the role of leaders and how they best serve your individual and partnered interests.

“If he’s uninterested in this approach, you either never discuss politics or you break up. If you’re cool not talking politics with your partner, I think it’s manageable with established boundaries and topics that are off-limit.”

Difference in values

Many thought this a sensible approach. However, others said that finding out their partner supported Trump would be a deal breaker. 

“Personally I can’t abide by a political difference that vast,” said another.” Dude is going to sell everyone down the river just because he’s not jazzed about the Democrats? That speaks to his character, and I can’t imagine wanting to date someone with flaws that glaring.”

Others suggested that dismissing Kamala Harris as “dumb”, without offering any evidence, reeked of sexism and racism. 

“Politics is a reflection of fundamental values,” said a third. “How can you spend your life with someone with a fundamentally different and opposing value system? You can choose to not discuss politics, but you can’t just ignore a vastly different value system in the person you’re spending your life with.”

Others echoed this.

“Politics is inherently about values. It sounds like you have very different values.”

And some were blunter.

“Get a smarter boyfriend.”

Trump’s queer support

According to GLAAD, around  81% of LGBTQ+ voters in 2020 who turned out to vote did so for Joe Biden. Its survey of 800 people post-election found that 14% voted for Donald Trump.

A poll in September conducted by the Human Rights Campaign found that 74% are leaning toward Kamala Harris this November, while only 7.5% are voting for the Trump-Vance ticket. Others plan to abstain or vote for a third party.

The Reddit poster is far from being the only one disturbed to discover his boyfriend is voting for Trump. This week, a new poll found that 43% of people aged 18 to 34 said they had a “more negative” view of a potential date if they revealed plans to vote for Donald Trump. Forty percent said the information would make no difference to them, while 17% said they’d have a more positive view of the person. 

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