This proposed rule for gay bar etiquette is stirring up discourse

A night out at the gay bar is all about fun and freedom — within reason. So says a viral video that points out one important no-no for a crowded queer club.

Comedian Jake Cornell took to TikTok (@jakewcornell) to share a key piece of gay bar etiquette. “One thing I should never be hearing out at the gay bar after 10, 10:30 pm is, ‘Hey, can I see your drink menu?’” he said. “There is no drink menu. Every gay bar has the same drink menu — every busy gay bar has the same drink menu, and that’s going to be beer, wine, and one-and-ones: y’know, tequila soda, vodka soda, gin and tonic, gin and soda, rum and coke.” He added that any pre-mixed cocktails on tap are also fair game.

That, however, is the limit, says Cornell: “We’re not getting the shakers out when it’s six deep at the bar. Okay? We’re not doing that to the bartender,” he said. “The only thing that should be shaking when it’s six deep at the bar at a gay bar is *ss.”

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Cornell knows that his simple drink recommendations aren’t for everyone. What are the cocktail snobs among us to do? It’s simple, he says: go elsewhere.

“I understand the inclination to want to feel luxurious, feel fancy. There is a time and a place for that. It’s not in a dark bar filled with smelly men. And I mean that in a good way!” he said. “Let’s think about where we are and think about what we want, and see if those two things match.”

With that, he dropped a mantra that several commenters said they’ll be adding to their repertoires: “Is the experience I desire matched up with the location I’m at?”

@jakewcornell

Time and place #lifestyle #newyork #comedy

♬ original sound – Jake Cornell

Plenty of folks in the comments section were on the same page as Cornell, saying it’s all about time and place. “I have restaurant drink orders, lounge orders, and club orders,” one commenter wrote. “Improvise, adapt, overcome.”

“Bartender here: SAY IT LOUDER,” commented another.

“If you’re asking for a drink menu, you’re already taking too long,” admonished a third.

But not everyone agreed, with dissenters saying the job of a bartender is to make drinks to order, no matter the time or the number of customers in line.

“Just make my espresso martini babe,” wrote one user.

“You’re a bartender. I want a mojito. Make it,” demanded another.

Those comments, though, were few and far between, with most folks coming to Cornell’s defense: “All he’s saying is that there’s a time and place for complex drinks. A packed bar, late night isn’t it,” wrote one commenter. “Go to brunch you heathen.”

Another user summed up the discourse succinctly: “Half this comment section does not understand time and place,” they wrote, “and the other half does.”