We gays know that the women of pop are the most powerful people on Earth. But with great power, as they say, comes great responsibility. For instance, if you make a music video that gets a priest in trouble, you never know—it might just end up bringing down the Mayor of New York.

That’s exactly what happened this week. By now we’ve all heard about Eric Adams’ major fall from grace after being charged with bribery and fraud, but there’s so much more to the story. Apparently, it was Sabrina Carpenter’s need to make a c*nty Catholic-core musical video that put Adams’ downfall in motion. How? Well, let’s get into it, shall we?

The year was 2023. The music video was for Sabrina Carpenter’s TikTok hit “Feather,” a song about how life has gotten so much more carefree after casting off a certain f*ccboi. The setting for the video was Williamsburg’s the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Church, and as soon as people saw Carpenter prancing around in a black tutu in the sacred space, they started crying “oh Mary.”

The Roman Catholic Diocese of Brooklyn naturally took issue with so much c*nt being served in a place of worship, and the Priest responsible for giving Carpenter the keys to the rectory was swiftly punished. Monsignor Jamie Gigantiello was stripped of his responsibilities and sent packing. The whole scandal was enough to get the federale interested. They sent the church in question a subpoena that linked Eric Adams to Gigantiello’s shady doings, and from there more damning information about Adams having his fingers in many, many pies started coming to light.

So really what we should all be saying right now is “thank you Sabrina!” Mother exposed graft in a way only a diva could. And now it’s Eric Adams who’s screaming Diva Down.

Now people are calling it the feather effect. Well…they’re not, but perhaps they should be.

If you needed proof that we’re living in a simulation, here it is.

When Sabrina said Jesus was a carpenter, she knew whereof she spoke!

Hopefully this isn’t the last installment in the drama. After all we’ve yet to hear from Sabrina herself on the matter. But that’s to be expected: she’s busy giving the girls, gays, and theys the tour we needed.

The girls are here to bring this country back from the brink of fascism, and we’re forever grateful.

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