Gay men have no shortage of sexual labels, from tops and bottoms to sides and verses. They’re a great way to quickly get across what you’re looking for in a hookup, but what happens when two self-professed bottoms are attracted to each other? Is it still worth meeting up?

That’s the question currently making the rounds on the gay internet, and like all great gay discourse, the conversation stemmed from a Grindr screenshot. 

An X user named Adam posted a conversation he’d had on the app with the caption, “No because why is every cute guy a bottom.” The Grindr exchange saw Adam get rejected by the other user, who messaged him, “You’re very cute, but eh, sorry, I am more of a bottom too. So looking for more of a top.” 

Adam respected that user’s rejection, but his post served a springboard for other gays to sound off on our self-imposed binaries. Why limit yourself? There’s plenty of ways to have fun in the bedroom, even if you and your partner share the same … preferences.

“We need to free ourselves from this whole I’m an exclusive bottom thing,” reads one viral response. “Just go and meet up with each other, make out and see what happens.”

Several folks encouraged the bottoms out there to simply “bump purses” — aka, get together and have fun without worrying about who’s the top and who’s the bottom.

But others said there’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. If you’re a bottom who knows for sure you’re only looking to hook up with a top, that’s your prerogative — but it might mean spending much more time finding that perfect compatible partner.

Adam did eventually respond to the discourse in a separate post, writing, “Yes I will top, no I’m not boring, I just wanted the d that day.” Fair enough.

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