JoJo Siwa’s not only set on the names of her future children, but the unorthodox way she plans to have them. In a new interview, Siwa revealed she wants not one, not two, but three surrogate mothers to give birth on her behalf.

The revelation comes from a video with Cosmopolitan, where the “Karma” singer was faced with hypothetical scenarios. One asked how she’d respond to her future wife saying she hated the names Siwa had picked out for their children: Freddie, Eddie, and Teddie.

“Oh, easiest one ever,” Siwa quickly said. “I would break up with her. Divorce.” 

“That is something that I talk about very early on with partners. I’m like, ‘Just so you know, there are three children, and their names are Freddie, Eddie, and Teddie,'” she continued. “‘I will have as many more as you want, however many more, but F.E.T. is coming, and they will be here in three years, whether you like it or not.’ Those are my nuggets, and no one comes before my nuggets.”

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Beyond Siwa’s apparent devotion to those novelty names, talking about her future children inspired Siwa to reveal her surrogacy fantasy.

“Because I’m gay as sh*t and I have to plan a pregnancy much different than a straight person, I actually want to take three eggs, fertilize three eggs, and have three surrogates,” she said. “So technically, they’ll all be the same batch, but they would all be born separately. I’m gonna have my surrogates, my babies, and maybe their birthdays will land on different days, and they can be like triplets, but like not.”

Naturally, Siwa’s statement was met with a wave of WTFs. Surrogacy is controversial to begin with, though it’s not an uncommon practice, especially for queer couples — Siwa’s statement would make much more sense if she simply wanted to have three kids at different times, and she or her wife weren’t capable of pregnancy on their own. But as it stands, folks across the internet called out Siwa over her apparent disregard for the impact using three surrogates would have on the mothers, the children, and even on herself: becoming a parent is no laughing matter. Her plan sounds like a “1960s style dubiously ethical psychological experiment,” as one user put it on X.

Meanwhile, where did those rhyming baby names come from? On the podcast Call Her Daddy, Siwa revealed that she chose the name Freddie first, after Freddie Mercury, and that she picked Eddie and Teddie just for the rhyme factor. “That’s hysterical,” she said. 

Triplets with rhyming names are a little funny as a concept, but having to live your life with a name your mom picked for the meme of it all? Not a very funny reality for the unborn Freddie, Eddie, and Teddie Siwa — who, if they ever come to exist, will hopefully be the product of a more thought-out pregnancy plan.

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