F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said that in American life there are no second acts. The man was clearly not famliiar with the 2024 disgraced celebrity playbook.

Last year around this time, UK comedian-turned-new age podcaster Russell Brand faced numerous rape allegations from victims dating back to the early 2000s after the release of a damning ITV4 report. Brand did the expected thing of not only denying these allegations, but claiming it was all part of a government ploy to censor him.

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Some time later, we saw Brand—always a fan of new agey excuses for bad behavior—do the expected rebranding. He embraced the Lord, and that’s the trajectory he’s on now, along with noted right-wing weirdo Jordan Peterson. This weekend saw not only Brand’s baptism in tightie whities, but a joint speech made with Peterson at the “Rescue the Republic” rally in Washington D.C.

The event seems to have been an all-out idiot fest of the type we can rely on from two men who have made their livings off of publicly hating women.

What does the Republic (interesting word choice for two non-Americans) need rescuing from exactly? According to Brand and Peterson, America is in danger of…not voting for Trump?

In Peterson’s speech, he notes that Trump’s term was defined by “peace” and saw the appointment of “remarkable” individuals to office. He says he can think of nothing more revolutionary than seeing Trump appoint someone like Elon Musk to oversee trade. So yes, it’s the same braindead sh*t we’re used to, capped off by a completely disingenuous call to prayer.

But if you watch the full stream, you’ll find that there’s some Trump logic at play with regards to the actual numbers. Peterson’s speech is punctuated by a lone, slow clap throughout, and it’s easy to get the sense that the “crowds” these guys are bringing in are a figment of the alt-right imagination.

It’s pretty embarrassing all around, and Peterson’s Harvey Dent suit is the least of it.

When this kind of thing happens, you really have to wonder what people are talking about when they cite the perils of cancel culture. It doesn’t seem like there’s all that much cancellation going on if all you have to do is say a few quick Hail Marys to be vindicated.

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