It started simply enough: a woman in labor about to deliver her baby, a supportive husband, a dance of the red shoes.

But what starts innocently can often lead to madness, and such was the case with the latest Internet drama, a story we’ll call the tale of the gay ballet husband.

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It all started when a woman asked her husband to distract her from the pains of contractions by performing an interpretive dance. The husband in question wasted no time, and soon enough the TikTok that captured it all was awash in supportive comments. “Green Flag Guy we need you!” Commenters shouted, unaware of the drastic contretemps that was about to befall them.

@jezlynbearden

he delivered so I can deliver 😭😭 the commitment. The choreo. The EXECUTION. 10/10. @Grayson Bearden #pregnancy #marriage #husbandwife #labor #thirdtrimester #interpretivedance

♬ original sound – Shelbydances!!

Because, apparently and according to the Internet, this man wasn’t simply an innocent straight man performing a supportive dance. He’s a product of conversion therapy.

When someone stated that they knew “green flag guy” from a past gay life, everyone was shook, if not exactly surprised. A straight man high-kicking effortlessly? We’ve never heard of it.

But the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. And friends, we found the pudding.

But wait, there’s more: according to Green Flag guy, homosexuality is a curse that he’s thrilled to be free from, even though he needed to use the gayest TikTok effect (Disco) to tell us this.

Grayson Bearden, who wrote a full op-ed on a Christian website about his conversion, stated that his same-sex attraction showed up right around the time he hit puberty. “This lead me to explore my sexuality and try things with other guys,” he explains. “Before I knew it, I had fully opened a door, walked through it and heard it lock behind me. I had allowed the devil to trap me in a mess.”

As the devil tends to do, I guess! That sneaky lil b*tch!

So what’s the problem here? Well, as the delightful TikToker Chrys (@theqweeragenda) has previously explained, ex-gay isn’t really a thing, because most people who don the label admit that they are still attracted to the same sex but have figured out how to suppress that desire.

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So basically it’s one thing to go off and live a happy life with your wife as a bisexual man. It’s another to use your experience to try and convince others that queerness is the devil and should be eradicated at all costs.

Because the one thing we know about conversion therapy is that it’s junk science and it doesn’t work. So let’s not lie to ourselves, mmkay?

Because let’s be 100% honest here: gayness is not a practice. It’s a part of who you are, whether you choose to have same sex relationships or not.

But as one commenter aptly stated, we don’t have to worry about this man getting his comeuppance. Chances are it’s already on its way.

The moral of this story? Don’t ever assume a green flag is quite as green as it might seem at first sight.

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